Seeing Wilco in Boston, felt like a bit of a reward. And, truthfully, a respite.
The last stretch of time has been pretty taxing on my family. Good things were happening, but the transition has been pretty bumpy.
My wife spent the last year, out of work. She got laid off from her teaching job at the end of the 2010 school year, and she's been drawing unemployment since.
But she got a new job, which she's very excited about.
We managed things pretty well, with just unemployment and my paycheck, but the money was running out. As I was heading out the door to Wilco, I looked at our accounts. The checking account, the mortgage account, the Christmas account and the kids college fund were all down to less than 20 bucks each. And the credit card had only enough space for me to put 4 gallons of gas in the car and pay for parking in Boston.
No worries, though. My wife's first paycheck would be coming the next day. And we will be able to get on track after that.
Just in time too. Her 11 year old car had to have an emergency repair last weekend---the brakes went. My my 10 year old car was basically kaput. But now that she had a job, we could get a loan and buy a replacement vehicle.
More than the money chaos, has been the family chaos. While my wife was home this last year, daycare wasn't an issue. Now we needed to find coverage. Moms and Mothers-in-law, pre-schools and home daycare, pick ups and drop offs and the whole rigmarole have suddenly gone into effect as of 2 weeks ago. It's been quite a task to make sure we had every day and time covered. Logistically, it was like planning an invasion.
And with both adults now working, the house has gone to hell.
Piles of clothes. Piles of toys. Piles of paperwork. Piles of bills. Piles of dishes. Piles of dirt.
The only time we have to try to get a handle on the mess, to sort the piles, to tame the chaos, is late at night, after the kids have gone to bed.
I was clearing a path to my closet, when I saw another pile. A pile of books.
Every year for Christmas, my sister and my brother-in-law and my folks get me a few books. Music books. Nick Hornby. Humor. And over the course of the next year, I plow through them.
But since my first child was born, I was getting to fewer and fewer books per year. And when my second kid came, I only read a couple that year. And this year, just one.
There is a pile of books in my closet, a dozen or more, and it feels like I'll never get to them. Finding time for such indulgences is rare. It takes the moving of a mountain just to schedule things so I can go into Boston for the night to see a band I love.
So I was happy to be walking into the Wang with my friend Dave, knowing that for the next 3 hours, no one would need a diaper change, no one would poke me in their sleep. There would be no dishes to wash. No stack of bills saying "Pay me."
The time was mine.
"Who's the opener?" I asked Dave.
"Nick Lowe."
Bonus! I had no idea he was touring with Wilco. I've always been a casual fan and I've never seen him. Frosting on the cake!
He played "Cruel To Be Kind" and covered Elvis Costello's "Alison." And, because he's got a new album, he played a few new songs, including this one, "I Read A Lot."
Here are the first lines:
I read a lot, nowadays
Much more than before you left me high and dry
in a loveless land
with nothing but time on my hands
I listened closely to this song about being out of a relationship, reading, just to pass the time.
And I remembered what life was like a decade ago, when I didn't have a wife or kids or a house or debt. When I could do what I want, when I wanted, at whatever time I wanted, in whatever way I wanted.
I remembered what life was like. It was a bit lonely.
The paychecks will come. The kids will adjust to daycare. The laundry can be picked up. The dust, swept. And someday, in a few years, I might have some time to read those books.
I loved my freedom.
But I love my messy, messy life much more.
Family, love, friendship, responsibility? Versus freedom? It's a trade-up.
Hear the song on Youtube.
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