De La Soul “Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa”

5 Great Christmas Tunes That Aren’t Really In The Christmas Spirit

This song just has so many things going against it.

No one---absolutely no one---wants to hear a song about child molestation.

Sure, you can get tricked into it, with a catchy song featuring an interestingly named child (yes, I’m talking about “Luka”). But you’re not going out of your way to hear it.

Nor does anybody appreciate a holiday tune where someone gets violent with Santa. It’s just not in the Christmas spirit.

Just the title is going to make folks pass over this one: “Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa”

But if you can get past all that, this is a masterfully told narrative, telling the story of Millie’s abuse at the hands of her Foster parent, recounted through the eyes of the classmates who had been dismissive of her accusations.

One of the things rap music can do much easier that some other forms of music, is incorporate other voices, to give a story multiple narrators, and paint a more vivid, nuanced landscape. (You wish it were a device more often, and more effectively, employed)

Another one not for the kids, but not to be missed (just maybe save it for after the Holidays).

Spongebob Squarepants “Don’t Be A Jerk On Christmas”

5 Great Christmas Tunes That Aren’t Really In The Christmas Spirit . . .

I suppose what makes something a perfect tune for Christmas, is if it makes you feel good while decorating the tree. Does it add to the ambiance of opening presents? Does it make everyone want to sing along?

That’s a great song FOR Christmas, but what about a fully enjoyable song about Christmas that doesn’t fit that bill? What if listening to it depressed everyone? Or annoyed them? What if it didn’t really lend itself to singing along? Then it will wind up here on a list of Great Christmas Tunes That Aren't Really In The Christmas Spirit.

There’s an episode of the TV Show “30 Rock” where Kenneth has just seen Cable TV for the first time, and asks Jack:

“Is Spongebob supposed to be terrifying?”

The answer is Yes.

Here is a terrifying Christmas tune that you would prefer your kids did not sing over and over from the back seat.