Veruca Salt "I Want It Now"

I was reading this article that's flying around the internet about "Chinese Mothers" and I was, as many other commenters have been, horrified by much of it.

I'm not saying I should write a book about parenting, but I'm pretty sure that you gain nothing by calling your child "garbage," I recall thinking to myself, smugly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were talking to our three year old about proper manners, about not whining and about the way to get a positive response from your parents---or anyone.

Because . . . a few night before, at the dinner table, I asked her if she was enjoying her chicken. She held up her plate, looked me square in the eye and said, "GET. ME. MORE. CORN!"

She was instead offered a large helping of ABSOLUTELYUNACCEPTABLE from her otherwise usually-placid Dad.

In the aftermath of my quick outburst and the icy silence that followed, my wife and I have been gently, but more explicitly than ever, making clear the lines of what behavior is appropriate, and what is not.

Whining is a major topic. Three year olds can be whiny and demanding. Especially if you let them.

After a perfectly pleasant and well-mannered dinner, she started to whine about wanting dessert.

Though my child is not British, something about the way she delivered her line made me think of: "I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!"

I'm not sure why she whined. We explained that she'd had a good meal, and had behaved wonderfully, and if she simply asked nicely, we'd be happy to give her an ice cream sandwich.

We started talking about Veruca Salt, and how she whined and demanded and how she was a rude and unpleasant child.

To YouTube!

We found this scene from Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, where Veruca demands a golden goose and a bean feast and whines and whines and whines (in song) until she winds up on top of the Chocolate Golden Egg Sorter Machine, and is declared to be a bad egg. And then she abruptly disappears into the floor.

"What happened to her?" my daughter asked.

"Well, uh, she was rude and bossy. So she went away."

"But where did she go?"

"Well, uh, she went down the chute."

"Why?"

"Because she was a bad egg."

"Where does the chute go?"

"Uh . . . Um . . . The garbage."

Yes, while trying to share some fun childhood pop culture morality with my kid, I inadvertently instructed her that bossy, whiny, rude children would end up in the garbage.

Amy Chua, feel free to be smug.