Tears For Fears "Head Over Heels"

Just sitting here, thinking about writing this post is causing a horrible pit in my stomach.

I did promise myself that I would write about some songs that recalled awkward adolescence, so I'll go forward, despite my confusing mix of emotions.

Here's the short version.  I had a super-painful crush on a girl when I was 15 and I recall that this is the song that I felt best expressed my feelings for her.

Was she aware of my feelings?

No.

Maybe?

No?

If she was aware, then she didn't let on.

And by "let on," I mean that she didn't hit me over the head with a 2 by 4 and say, "I like you to, you sweet, stupid boy."

Even if she had done that, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have known how to read the situation for certain.  I was that clueless.

I was good at plenty of things, as a 15 year old.  I was a good student.  I was a decent athlete.   I could juggle a little bit (always a hit with the ladies!).  I was learning how to make ice cream at Haley's in Newburyport.

But while most of my guy friends had serious (for 15) girlfriends, or dated around a lot, I was still struggling, nay, still fully unable, to put two sentences together in front of a girl.

I guess that's why I identified with this video so much.

In my painfully earnest 15-year-old way, I understood the painful earnestness of the guy in the video who's best attempt at flirting with a girl he likes, is to look sort of wounded as he engages in a business transaction at the object of his affection's workplace.  And he seems somewhat mystified that she only returns his (obvious to only him) flirting, with a blank stare.

It was painful, because like him, I didn't get why she didn't get it.

Now it's painful to revisit, not only because of the original pain, but because I'm so aware of how corny and awkward it all is, both the video and my initial reaction to it.

I can't say that my lady-killing skills improved a whole lot in the ensuing years, but I did (mostly) learn to get out of my own way, on the occasions that a woman did hit me over the head with a 2-by-4.


Hear the original song, on Youtube.


See the literal version on Youtube.